• Damsel In Dating Distress

BREAKUP GUILT.

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put it back together."

When we discuss breakups we often think about the emotional impact for the person on the receiving end but actually when you're the one making the decision to leave, it's not exactly a walk in the park. Once upon a time I found it incredibly hard not to feel like a complete asshole and entirely responsible for causing a partner pain after uttering the words "I can't do this anymore". And in some cases, depending on the situation there's just no easy way to end things. When you're mentally ready to have that talk, guilt often steps in which can be problematic. It can hold you back from making a healthy decision. It can also lead you down a path of misery. Have you ever stayed in a relationship longer than necessary because you simply didn't have the courage to leave earlier? Perhaps the "what if" questions started clouding your judgement causing you to take a step backwards and get back together... only to find yourself in a vicious cycle of toxicity and self-destruction making you even more bitter than before!

HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS?

When you've made the firm choice to part ways, don't dwell on it too much and try not to be so hard on yourself afterwards. It's natural to feel guilt before, during, and after a break up. When it comes down to it, your ex is a person who was with you through some of your greatest years, best experiences, and even some of the hardest times as well. It's a struggle to let the fond memories go and imagine your life solo again (never underestimate how much a breakup can affect your day-to-day), emotionally you don't just switch off, there'll be times when your mind will automatically jump to what had become it's comfort zone... and that's when the irrational mind will have you second guessing your decision.

NO MORE AVOIDING THE INEVITABLE


The older I get the better I understand myself; the more confidence I build the less time I waste entertaining people/situations that don't bring any benefit or value into my life. A tough lesson I learned is to really listen to yourself and your feelings because only you will know what makes you happy and if that means ending a relationship, then trust your decision. It's not selfish by any means but absolutely necessary to live a life that you deserve.

Breakups might seem like hell in the first instance but I believe they'll always end up being a good thing because it leaves an opportunity to become a better person and/or remove negativity out of our lives, as well as give us new perspective. Pain is unavoidable from both sides when there's emotional investment but if you've been or are the one initiating the break up you must remember that your feelings are valid and so is your healing process. Ultimately there's a choice to make yourself happy or to suppress your happiness for the sake of sparing your partner pain.

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