DEAR LADIES, THERE ARE STILL GOOD MEN OUT THERE!
"Where are all the decent men?!", "The good guys are taken!", "Men are assholes!", "F*ck men!" — these are complaints I hear time and time again from today's modern women, and I get it. If you're the type of person interested in a serious relationship, then yes, dating nowadays IS tough, I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you. Being active in the dating scene can leave you feeling exhausted very quickly, particularly when it comes to those bloody apps. I don't know about you but I've probably been on about 15 first dates since January... and really, how many times must I repeat what I do for a living and what my interests are? As for the remaining pool of "eligible" bachelors... well they're either sleazy, married, rude, deceiving or a bit of an oddball! We know that more choice doesn't necessarily make for an easier love life but if you're reading this, I don't want you to give up on love just yet!
TODAY'S DATING CULTURE
I've mentioned this a fair bit in my previous posts but the dating market has no doubt evolved in the last few years. The rise of internet culture and having quick access to meet different people almost instantaneously has somewhat encouraged the act of hooking up and "situationships", it almost feels like these phenomenons are transitioning to becoming the norm. On top of that, around 80% of users lie on their dating profiles, plus the ease of hiding behind a screen... suddenly we're introduced to terms such as "ghosting", "zombieing", "breadcrumbing" and a whole other bunch of modern nonesense! Let's just say the bar for polite, respectful behaviour has dropped a few notches. Many of us still long for a genuine, meaningful connection but when you hear so many horror stories of being burned or having to deal with bullshit, it's no surprise that singletons are feeling less confident and afraid of putting themselves out there again.
IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME!
I have to be frank, some men (and women) are garbage and need to seek therapy immediately. At the same time it's important to consider whether our own choices, views and beliefs have an impact on why things are the way they are. In other words, you might be the problem. Allow me to be more specific... Mindset in dating is so crucial. Having a negative outlook (towards yourself and others) will really affect how you view any given situation, limiting beliefs will often prevent you from seeing the reality and block you from receiving what you desire, therefore creating a knock on effect on your overall outcome. You need to stop worrying about being direct in terms of what you want. Who cares if you end up scaring him off? I say good riddance. If you allow him to take you down the path of "seeing where things go" or "going with the flow" then I guarantee after months of "flowing" you'll be left in the grey area, constantly wondering where you stand. If long term commitment is what you're after then you need to get comfortable being honest about it from the early doors. You need to stop giving every guy more than the benefit of the doubt and start seeing them at face value. To put simply, you'll get played if you're a willing participant of the game. Girlfriend, you are too smart for that crap. Don't overlook red flags and don't trick yourself into thinking they'll turn green. They won't. You can't meet the good guys because you're being too demanding. There! I've said it, and I'm not taking it back! The truth is... the older you get, the smaller the pool of men becomes. We need drop these wild demands and checklists, and be prepared to compromise. To be clear, I'm not saying drop your standards to the ground, and it doesn't mean saying yes to the first man who comes along but it's when I hear requirements like: "I need someone who's over 6 foot tall, good looking, successful in his career, has no "baggage" from previous relationships, works out regularly, drives, has amazing dress sense, likes travelling and fine dining, is sporty, has same music taste as me, no Capricorns or Libras..." — you get my drift? I wouldn't date you.
DON'T RUSH THE PROCESS, GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME :)
If you've read my old blog posts you'll know that I haven't been dealt the best hand when it comes to romance, I've tolerated years of toxicity in the past, equally I've had my own ridiculous episodes. With that said, I've learned to love myself unconditionally everyday, show gratitude for my blessings, spread happiness, and enjoy being a whole person. As I've maintained this energy, I've noticed the quality of people entering my life has gotten better and better. This year I've been fortunate enough to have crossed paths with some really great guys. I don't think there's been a date where I was left disappointed, and even if the dates didn't progress I still really enjoyed their company. They were all polite, respectful, great at holding conversations, interesting, funny and genuine individuals — it's been incredibly refreshing to be honest.
So ladies, the bottom line is: stay connected to your own greatness, and they'll come flowing your way! And if you're really serious about dating, then make sure you do it with: 1) Curiosity and confidence
2) A high level of self-worth through setting boundaries
3) Openness and authenticity 4) Love for yourself as a priority! One you get that down to a T, I truly believe you'll start discovering the good ones. There's certainly no shortage of high quality men... they are everywhere, you just need to open your eyes and believe it. So don't lose hope my loves, someone WILL want to date you properly! They'll arrange to take you out, they'll plan and organise, they'll put in effort and you won't be left wondering when you'll hear from them next because they'll follow up and mean what they say. They'll open doors for you, give you their coat if you're cold. They'll compliment you and make you feel special. They won't attempt to invite you back to their place because they're far too respectful. They also won't be in a rush because they're planning to be it for the long run. I promise you, these men STILL exist. While I can't tell you how long it'll take... I just KNOW it'll happen. I mean, look at us! We're amazing, we're beautiful, we're smart, we're a f*ucking catch! 💕😉 And don't you forget it! Have an amazing weekend ladies x