DEAR SIR, THANKS FOR YOUR HONESTY.
So I've recently jumped on the dating apps again (yes, "again" 💀), Tinder being one of them! Don't ask me why I've resorted to Tinder... the last two times were rather discouraging. I've never met anyone through Tinder before, normally the conversations are pretty dire or no one's worth swiping on based on their minimal-effort to non-existent bios. But seeing as the flamey icon hasn't graced my phone for a while, I thought "why not?" — and to my surprise... the quality and etiquette seems to have improved over the last year.
LET'S BE REAL HERE
I can't highlight enough how much I appreciate honesty and integrity. Slightly off topic but in my opinion, the four foundations of any good relationship start with: Honesty, Communication, Trust and Respect. With that said, a common trend I've discovered in modern day dating is that it’s particularly hard to find someone who's transparent about what they're looking for. Sure, there'll be people who don't have a clue about what they want, in which case I'd suggest not using the apps? Then there's also people out there who will say what they think you want to hear or fluff some bullshit up so it doesn't sound like they're only after one thing... either way, I think it's vile.
As grown adults, I'm confused why people feel the need to put up smoke and mirrors. If your intention is to hookup, find friends with benefits or whatever, then say that. I certainly don't take offence, and I'm open-minded enough to understand that not everyone is looking for the same thing. Even if people aren't open-minded, your intention should still be made clear. I find it incredibly refreshing when my matches are upfront. Being forthright can really expedite the search process for both parties; why waste time faffing around, starting these silly games, making false conversations and potentially giving someone false hope?
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ON HERE?
Over the last week I matched with about 8 people on Tinder, and I have to say... even though 7 out of the 8 weren't on the same page as me, they were mature and polite enough to throw in the question early on: "What are you looking for on here?" — one guy in particular stood out for me because he was incredibly apologetic when he revealed he was only after "sex or friendship with sex", also underlining that he didn't want to make me feel disgusted or uncomfortable. Bless him. Then after a bit of chit chat, we both said bye and wished each other luck on the apps. 🍀 I can't remember his name but can we have more honest people like him please?
Unfortunately in the past I've be caught up in situations where guys have spat out bollocks to me for their own selfish gain. Thankfully I always manage to pull myself out of the hot mess, but the crucial message here is to always ensure people's actions line up with their words! People will happily try and take you for a dickhead.
On a separate note, more positive note — I had a lovely date yesterday, and we met through Tinder 🤯 I guess this app has a place to stay on my phone... for now.