• Damsel In Dating Distress


Being a Damsel in Dating Distress means I've been on a number of first dates that have left me cringing, infuriated, confused or extremely concerned. But it's not all doom and gloom, there's been occasions where I'm heading home thinking to myself: "Woo! He looks better in real life!", "What a gentleman!" or "That was an amazing date!"


When approaching any first date I'm one of those who tends not to get nervous or anxious; this is most likely down to the fact that I go in with zero expectations combined with my care-free attitude. In all honesty I treat dates as if I'm about to meet an old friend for a long-overdue catch up. Perhaps it's the "wrong" way to go about it but it works for me, plus I prefer to keep things simple and straightforward. Why choose to unnecessarily overcomplicate or overthink things right? I don't change or do anything different for each date, I dress however I feel most confident, and focus on enjoying (or try to) their company. At the end of the day there are things you simply can't control, and that includes what the other person is thinking or how they feel. After a first date it's natural to replay the whole scene and wonder if it went well or not. Typical things we think about are (or at least I do) is whether the conversation flowed, was there any chemistry, any awkward moments, did I discover some interesting things about them, or did I uncover early red flags 😬🚩. I believe it's obvious when a date went well, although there's been a couple of occasions where it's not always clear; equally we shouldn't dwell on it so much. Whether you're new to the dating scene or attempting to figure out what just happened, I'm going to share a few undeniable signs a first date went really well (from personal experience). WHERE SHOULD WE HEAD NEXT? Not that I time my dates or anything but when you're still galavanting around past your bedtime (bear in mind I'm an old lady in a younger woman's body) that's a great sign. If you've left one venue in search of another place to hangout, that immediately says you're both enjoying yourselves. No one will drag out a bad date, so if you're 5 hours in and still chatting away, you'd better start arranging a second to continue the conversation. YOU IMMEDIATELY FEEL COMFORTABLE It's a nice feeling when you greet your date and it feels very natural from there onwards. If the conversations came super organically and you can't help but be your most authentic self around them, I want to let you know... that's exactly how it should feel.

HUMOUR, LOTS OF IT. Let's not be in denial, funny people definitely get extra brownie points. When we like someone, we often laugh at their jokes. So if you managed to make your date laugh with a funny story, you're definitely on the right track. And if you laughed together and understood each other's sense of humour, then this is undoubtedly a sign of a great connection. EYE CONTACT I love me some eye contact, it seriously speaks volumes. I think it shows a strong sign of chemistry between people, and it's subtly flirtatious. In one study published in the journal Psychological Science, it was revealed that when people had a romantic interest, their eyes were drawn to the person's face. DEEP CONVERSATIONS If the conversation went further than small talk, as in you spoke about childhood, family, sharing funny stories about each other, etc, this shows that you're comfortable enough to talk about something meaningful and have the potential to connect on a more spiritual and intellectual level. TELL ME MORE If they ask lots of questions and listen attentively to everything you say, it’s because they're actually interested and want to know more about you. I've found that those who are really keen and engaged will ask about your life, your interests, possibly your past, and future plans. THE KISS It's those soft, heart-fluttering kisses for me. The ones that leave you smiling, dying to share the details with your bestie (much like a teenager!) If your first date ended with a voluntary kiss, this indicates not only that your date found your company enjoyable, but that they found you physically attractive, too. SPEEDY FOLLOW-UP If you receive a follow-up text from your date expressing how much fun they had, asking if you got home okay, and/or even asking for a second date. I mean... surely I don't need to expand on that? 😉 Oh, worth mentioning... the sooner they reach out the better! If someone thought the first date went well, they will make it known without the waiting games.

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