• Damsel In Dating Distress


Teenage love is a funny ol' thing isn't it? Truthfully I've never figured out whether my first taste of love was actually love or if it was simply a very long period of infatuation, delusion and a surge of hormones flying around in my system. While it was a messy, emotional rollercoaster ride, it taught me so much and I generally look back with a sense of nostalgia. For me, the feeling of being in complete awe of someone was new, exciting, fun, and pretty extraordinary — it was that whole head in the clouds, can't stop thinking about you, absolutely consumed by this human sort of love. I honestly don't think I'll ever feel anything close to that again (which is not a bad thing by the way!) I guess the younger we are, the greater capacity we have to throw ourselves into love.

It was the longing for attention, affection, openness and vulnerability I craved as a teen. At 16, nothing made me feel happier than being around him but it was all very intense and dramatic... not having years of baggage to cloud my feelings, this lack of experience meant that I'd ignore a lot of important things a "real" relationship would require to thrive — ambition/drive, common interests, stability of partner, etc but of course we don't think about that stuff when we're pissing around at school, crushing on Nick Carter from the Backstreet Boys, and religiously watching Dawson's Creek or Buffy the Vampire Slayer! As adults, I suspect most of us apply logic when we're looking for a romantic partner as opposed to someone who just feels nice to be with (though, this can still happen in adult life!) As we gain more knowledge and understanding about the world of dating and relationships over the years our intelligence increases giving us the ability to rationalise who's good for us and who might potentially f*** us over.

One of the biggest obstacles in teen love is that most are still in the process of discovering themselves. When you don't know who you are, it's hard to form a healthy relationship. How do you handle conflict and confrontation? How do you properly voice your feelings? Why am I so jealous and threatened by all these bitches floating around my man!? 😂 Furthermore, I'm sure many would agree that you can't fully know true love until you know and love yourself. The most vivid memory from my teenage romance was the heartbreak. Bloody hell, no one warned us how crushing and brutal it would be! From being attached at the hip for three years to going unbelievably sour and cold towards each other. As cliché as it sounds it did feel like my world was falling apart! It's almost slightly amusing when I think back, I would love to time travel and give myself a good slap for acting the way I did... so embarrassingly stupid 🤦🏻‍♀️ but when you're a teenager you live freely and that's the beauty of it. I'd say being young, clueless and "in love" is actually one of the smartest, most honest, innocent things we'll ever go through in life.

So would I do it again? Probably not but I'm incredibly grateful I had the chance to experience it. Teenage love has the ability to be the rawest, most simplified version of love we will ever come across yet it can scar you, change you and encourage you to grab some bricks to start building your wall in order to avoid being hurt again. That said, I wouldn't change a thing! It definitely shined a light on many of my shortcomings and has ultimately shaped the person I am today.

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