• Damsel In Dating Distress

TORN BETWEEN TWO GUYS: A DAMSEL IN DATING DISTRESS (PART 3)

Happy Friday everyone! As promised, I've returned to deliver the final chapter of my mini dating series (if you will). Before I crack on I want to quickly say that although I'm sharing a fair bit about my personal life, it's quite liberating to be able to express my thoughts and have you experience this short rollercoaster ride through my own eyes; some might say they're "living vicariously" through me (ha! what an honour!) It's been a bundle of laughs and I've thoroughly enjoyed speaking with many individuals about the whole ordeal (I've not given away the ending!) If you're reading this as a fellow singleton then I hope I can encourage you to not lose hope. Despite what you might think, I assure you there are still some really great quality people out there. Truth be told, sometimes it does take a while and it may require kissing many (many) frogs, nevertheless I believe that everyone's path is unique. The timing of events is crucial and moulded for your own development and progress. A different path doesn't mean you're lost. Have patience, live in the present moment, because it'll all be worthwhile when your time comes to shine. ♥️

3RD DATE IS THE CHARM


The most refreshing thing about Ed and Calvin was their slow and steady pace, this was ideal for me. From past experience I've learned to go with my intuition, gauging how I feel around the presence of a person. I'm pretty observant by nature and normally think: What kind of energy are they sending out? How do they assert themselves? What's their body language telling me? Does the conversation flow easily? Am I being authentically, unapologetically me? Am I having fun? I'm sure you already know I'm an overthinker and have my walls high up during the early stages of dating but with Ed and Calvin I didn't sense any ulterior motives, I felt their words and actions matched up... so far you could say I was in green flag territory. Sailing through to 3rd date with one guy is already difficult as it is (ladies, can I get an Amen?) but with two guys? That's a rare occurrence. It wasn't until 3rd date that the kisses took place... with that said, it's only right that I kiss and tell! 💋😉 First and foremost, I definitely sensed some lip locking action going down on both nights, there was no way these dudes were going to give me another goodbye hug then awkwardly walk off again. FIRST KISS WITH ED I practically spent the whole day with Ed on our 3rd date starting with early brunch, rolling into lunch, giving our legs a good stretch around London, enjoying a casual dinner, then ending in cosy position in a park; talking, drinking, and laughing until 10pm. It was very sweet and romantic, I might even say that the flirtation levels were off the scales towards the end... arghhhhh I knew what was coming! As I took the last sip of my G&T, he leaned in and went for it. The only way I can describe our first kiss was tender and slow... there were a fair few of them too! 🙊 Overall it was lovely, he was such a gentleman (ie. kept his tongue in his mouth) 😂 I could already tell he was going to be an extremely affectionate and passionate kinda guy. FIRST KISS WITH CALVIN Now Calvin on the other hand... I can't remember if I mentioned but he's a bit of an odd character, which isn't a bad thing, I found it quite amusing to be fair. He booked dinner for our 3rd date at a beautiful Italian restaurant with outdoor dining. While we didn't spend the whole day together, I remember finishing our meal then talking and laughing for ages, to the point where the staff were pacing back and forth, giving us those looks urging us to leave. We took the hint and went for a stroll around the area. We linked arms as he shared stories about his travels around Asia and historical artefacts (yes, that's his thing) until out of nowhere he suggested sitting down on a bench due to him being "ancient" 🤣 Oh god... here it comes!! After about 5 minutes of us sitting, rather than going in for the kill, he decided to announce that he thought about kissing me but didn't want to make it awkward (how ironic!) I burst out laughing and replied "well, it certainly isn't awkward now is it?" ...we had this brief moment of eye contact before he came in closer. Yet again, another gentleman! No sign of a tongue 😅 I tell you what though, it was intense! He was not just a face holder, he'd also occasionally break away to hold eye contact then continue kissing (boy, those sharp blue eyes and the scent of his aftershave were really doing it for me). Do I sound creepy? 💀 Kissing review: There is no review unfortunately. They had their unique kissing styles and both very on point! 😏

THE LISTS


Multi-dating isn't for everyone and I totally get it... situations like these can get messy and create further confusion. At this point I was at date seven with both and honestly I expected to sway towards someone by date three or four. As a monogamous person who holds quite traditional values I did start to feel guilty (gosh, imagine if I had slept with them both! What a f*cking nightmare!)

When we come up against tough decisions, a "pros and cons" approach is a great shout so I went ahead and put pen to paper... although I kind of scrapped the pros, I instead opted to focus entirely on the cons as a way to put me off one... or both. Soon enough I realised this exercise was about as useful as a chocolate teapot because there weren't many cons... seriously, these pathetic bullet points took me about half a day to think of: Ed Not as well travelled (compared to Calvin) Tends to look a bit... scruffy/dishevelled appearance wise Differ in sense of humour A bit of a workaholic at times / talks about work a lot Comes across as a bit of a homebody/less adventurous Calvin Not as chatty between dates A bit emotionless/too serious at times Less driven than Ed Lacks experience in the dating department Not as many shared interests

SORRY THIS ISN'T WORKING FOR ME

Sometimes when I face sticky situations I like to try and find an easy way out. I decided to create a narrative in my head that maybe I didn't like any of them and eventually I'd get bored because they're both too nice. With my deranged behaviour in full flow, I happily started drafting out a "sorry this isn't working for me" message. I thought about how amazingly convenient this was as I had a date with Mr. Harris that night and really wasn't in the mood. Fortunately my "episode" only lasted a few hours so by the evening I managed to get a grip and go on my date. I mentioned in Part 1 that Calvin was quite mysterious which piqued my curiosity and interest. While he had shared a few (very minor) details about his dating experiences through Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder, I wanted to dig a little deeper around the relationship side of things... I realised I didn't interrogate him enough on that area, and it's a good thing I did because for the first time, I left our date feeling rather disappointed. Bearing in mind he's 36, I learned that he hadn't had a serious relationship before which raised a little concern. Don't get me wrong it's not necessarily a bad thing, there can be various reasons why someone has made the choice to stay single and I was careful not to pry too much, but when he openly said "I'm not very good with women and no good at relationships." I wasn't sure how to feel about that, I also knew it didn't sit right with me. The second off-putting thing was when we discussed "ghosting", I explained that I had ghosted twice in my whole life (a while back), and that it was a shitty move. To which he responded: "I don't think there's an issue ghosting people after the first few dates. It should be obvious when a date isn't going well so there's no need to follow up." 😐 I see. I had no idea where these "off" vibes were suddenly coming from. Maybe he was trying to put me off? Maybe he felt uncomfortable with the questions? Perhaps the dating Gods were simply trying to steer me towards Ed? Either way, that night I followed up. I thanked Calvin for his company, effort, and time, then explained that I couldn't see us progressing any further. As for Ed, he's still very much in picture 😊 It's early days but I'm confident I made the right choice. His consistency, open communication, thoughtfulness, and kind heart gives me a sense of peace and calm that I don't think I've experienced in a very long time... if ever?? I have no idea what to expect, nor do I have any expectations but he's definitely someone that I want to continue exploring and building a connection with. Well that's it folks, I really hope you enjoyed reading this. Thank you for being invested in my dating dramas, it always such a surprise to me! I guess I'll keep you posted on the progress with Ed — I'm most active on Instagram so keep your eyes on the stories and I might even blog about things here and there. Stay tuned and have a wonderful weekend. x

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